Well, this has truly never happened to me before, but I wrote my ideas for goals for 2024 less than a month ago, and I came here today to read them, and I find them to be absolute bull shit. Who was that December 2 woman? I will never reach those lofty goals. I barely want to read them through again, because they are so overwhelming. Why would I even try to do all that to myself!?
Maybe it’s because tomorrow’s date is one for the ages… won’t happen for what, another 100 years? Maybe the countdown (or count up) is what I need to give me a boost. No, what I need on 123123 is to scale back my own expectations for myself. I’ve always been a bit of a slacker, Gen X or no, because I was the person who would do just enough to get the A. Why get 100% when a 90% got you the same grade? An A is an A, and I wasn’t in line to get any great accolades for grades, like I certainly wasn’t valedictorian material or anything, nor would I have wanted to be. I quit my PhD, after passing my comps, because writing was overwhelming while simultaneously being less than stimulating.
On 123123, I want to refocus. Be more basic and not in the white girl at Starbucks kind of way. I want to simplify my expectations for myself and others. I find that my expectations are always loftier than anyone can reach. I need to learn to put aside what I think I want things to be and just appreciate what those things actually are. Being present in the moment makes it so much easier to feel joy.
So here are my goals for 2024:
- Love more: Give and receive more hugs. Tell people I love them.
- Be more honest and more vulnerable: Set better boundaries, tell people when they hurt me. Listen to people and believe what they tell me.
- Move more: I need to get back in the pool. I need to walk more. Maybe some of it will be rucking, because I do love that weighted feeling.
- Read and write more: Read some bible, read some books, and write sometimes.
- Eat less and savor more: Be conscious of what I put into my body.
- Be sober and be present more: Don’t do things that will hurt me, like drink alcohol.
This list is do able. There are no specifics. I am not hemmed in. And it fits who I want to be. I want to be present (sober, honest, vulnerable), loving and kind (hugs, reading, and writing), and physically well (eat less and move more). So, I plan to focus on things that matter to me, and the thing that will help me exist more fully in this world.
Presence.
Love and kindness.
Wellness.
More.